a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
