I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
