I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
