dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
