I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize