What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Let's get the cat blown out
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
