Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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