he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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