one two three fourrrrnication!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
