Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
