i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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