Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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