I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
