My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
