You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You're like the curious george of whores
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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