I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
