I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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