She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
