I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
