We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
