You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
