and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
