are you still at the devil's house?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
