I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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