So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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