My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
