Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
