You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
