Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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