4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
