I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
