capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
