Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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