That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
