i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
