My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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