I want to stick my p in your. b.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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