Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
