Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
