You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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