I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
