It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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