i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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