I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
