Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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