Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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