i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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