i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
me + whiskey = a bad person
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
