We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I am naked and annoyed.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
