3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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