Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
