eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize