There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
