you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Randomize
