So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
