True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
