he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
