I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
