How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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