the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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