I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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