I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
